Monday, August 04, 2008

The Club I Never Wanted to Join

This weekend we were initiated into a club that we never wanted to be a part of. Thursday afternoon I began spotting and just as it seemed to be stopping it began again. Early Saturday morning I began having terrible cramps that felt like labor. We spent from 6:30 to 11:30 am in the ER where they confirmed our worst fears. I had miscarried. The ultrasound indicated that the baby had stopped growing around 9 weeks.

We are full of so many mixed emotions. We are terribly sad. We are so thankful for our little Betsy who has been so loving and encouraging, although she doesn't know what has happened. We are unsure of what to tell her so that she will understand. We've been surrounded by so much love from our friend and family and our Father in heaven. I go from wanting to stay in bed and cry all day and wanting to get up and go enjoy the rest of my summer and have fun with Betsy and try to move on. Part of me longs to get pregnant again as soon as I'm healed and another part of me is terrified of the possibility of going through this again.

What else do you say. "God's grace is sufficient for me." That's what we will cling to.

1 comment:

Cindi said...

My heart is so sad... 4 times miscarriage met us... the first time, especially, it was excrutiatingly difficult. Know that we're thinking of you and praying for you. God's ways are so difficult to understand at times, but do continue to trust in Him. As you said, He will be sufficient.
Your friend,